Sure, I am not perfect! I will NEVER in my life say I am perfect, because I do not think there is one perfect person on this Earth (Yes, even the Dalai Lama himself has faults). But, I live by the Five Precepts as best I can, I meditate, I do for others when I can, and I, of all things, did not turn out like my family (but this is a whole other topic for many other posts).
Today I live in a quaint, but in need of repair, home with my wonderful, loving, and supportive husband, and our three dogs. My husband is the smartest, most capable person I have ever known. I love him so much, that sometimes it hurts. We have one of those almost fairytale love stories. Boy and Girl meet, Girl's horrible family hates Boy, love endures and Boy rescues Girl from the terrible "What Could Have Beens". As much as I may hate marriage sometimes, there is nothing that will ever make me stop loving him.
Our dogs are an odd mix of characters. We have a Mini Dachshund, who was our first dog of the bunch. She is loving and needy at the same time, loves to give kisses and be held. She is a wonderful and compassionate companion on the days I am sick. Sometime, even t the point of mimicking my symptoms. Everyone loves her, and she loves everyone.
Our Parson Russell was the second to our horde. He is a high-strung energy machine, who has very little patience for those who go against his wishes (this is becoming more relevant with our latest addition). But, he is a baby, and I love him. We have a special bond, unlike any I have ever had with my pets, and it started right from the moment I held him. After he fell asleep in my hands, that little bundle of fur would not leave my side. He, truly and honestly, is a baby; he even lays in your arms like one, and if he is sitting with you while rocking, he conks right out.
The Pit Bull is our latest addition (the one that tests the Parson's patients). She is rambunctious and pushy, and bull-headed like a Pit bull should be. She also loves to rough house, lay in my lap, and loves her brother and sister. Everyday she gives them kisses, and cuddles with the Dachshund at night. She is a lover of all lovers, and I am so proud of the dog she is. She is smart, inquisitive, and gives wonderful hugs. At eight months old, she is wise beyond her time, and is we're working on controlling her rambunctiousness.
In a nutshell, this is my life today. I attend school online, my husband and I are both on disability for multiple reasons (please do not judge us for it, we worked hard to not get to this point), and love gardening. I am very close with my husband's side of our family, and have no contact with anyone on my side after the demise of my grandmother. I am in counseling for my traumatic childhood, but have finally gotten to a point where my every thought is not consumed by nightmares.
As time goes on I will share more details of my life, but I wanted to give you a glance of where I am today. The point of this blog is not to make anyone feel sorry for me, not to justify the things that have happened to me or anything I have or have not done. It is simply to spread word that we, those who have been abused in any way, are not alone. We are not responsible for what happened to us, but are responsible for what we do with the pain, sadness, and heartache the abuse causes us.
Please, follow me on my journey through my life. Some days I will discuss my past, some my present, and some my hopes for the future. But, most of all, I will be healing through my words. Letting go with every keystroke... and hopefully it will allow those of you who hold it all in, like I have been doing to let it go as well.
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